Questions
by folkeye
Summary: Kadaj has emotional unstability when it comes to mental battles with himself.


Questions 

It wasn't unusual for Kadaj to ponder his life. In fact, he did it more often than the average teenager. Each time he thought, he hoped he would come up with the answers. Instead he was left with more questions. Sure he could talk things over with his brothers but he knew they could understand his problems before he spoke a single word. To some people that would be a bit disturbing. Kadaj was different that way too. He took comfort in the small fact the two most important people understood him.

Today was one of those days where his mind was uneasy. He paced back and forth as the questions surfaced again. He looked out a dingy window at the gray sky and couldn't remember the last time he saw it clear.

"Annoying really." He narrowed his eyes at a patch of clouds. "You're doing it on purpose." In the distance he heard a roll of thunder. "See? What'd I tell you?"

It didn't take long for him to lose interest in the clouds. There was something in the corner that caught his eye. It was dusty, shiny and far more interesting. Curiosity brought him over for a closer inspection. It was nothing but a full sized mirror leaning against the wall. The rim around it looked to be gold in color at one point, and the glass was covered in fine cracks and years of grime.

"Now where did you come from?" He stood directly in front of its dull surface. "I'll bet you hear that a lot. Doesn't that just get on your nerves?"

He leaned closer to the mirror, taking in his own reflection.

"You're weird." He laughed. "I mean, really." He stared into a pair or intense sea-green eyes with vertical catlike pupils. "Nobody looks like you…and your brothers don't count." He gave himself a dark gaze that only intensified his pale skin. "Don't look at me that way. I don't like it." His look darkened further. "Stop it!" He hung his head to break the gaze letting uneven pieces of fair silver hair fall in front of his face. "Freak."

Slowly he lifted his head to face the green gaze once again. "Fine, fine. We'll talk."

He sat abruptly down on the hard floor and crossed his arms and legs.

"Don't sulk either. You need to pay attention to me." The reflection remained the same. "You act like I don't exist. Why don't you care about me?" He shrugged. "Sorry, that's not entirely true. You wouldn't be talking to me if it was."

He watched the image cock its head to the side and look quite apprehensive. He didn't really know what it wanted. He didn't understand it.

"What do you want? My questions?" The pitch in his voice escalated. "You have answers for me?" He narrowed his eyes again. "What did I tell you about that!" He squeezed his eyes shut. He opened them only to stare into the watery eyes of a very young man. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just so confused." He finally got a look of understanding. "My life doesn't make sense." Surprised, he watched his image shake its head. "What? You don't agree with that? How the hell can you think that!"

He stood and pressed threateningly close to his reflection. Looking at the contorted emotions on his face was quite frightening. "Who are you? What do you want with me?" He curled his hands into fists. "You need to leave me alone! You're not helping me! " Desperation showed in those fierce eyes. "I..I can't help you! I know you only want what I want…but…" A single crystal tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and ran down his soft face.

He rested his forehead against the cold surface and cast his eyes to the ground. "Now isn't the time for this. I can't do this if…if you can't handle it." He turned his head so his cheek rested on the glass. "What're you staring at!" The ferocity returned in those burning green eyes. "That's it! You think I'm full of it! If you won't care, if you won't take me seriously then I'm only wasting my time with you!"

His age showed clearly as his reflection stomped its foot. He took a deep shaky breath and kept his eyes locked on the mirror. They soon softened, all trace of anger gone.

"We'll have to try this again. I'm just not in the mood anymore." He turned away from the mirror and walked back over to the window to stare at the sky again.

By: Folkeye 


End file.
